i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
