thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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