stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
