You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
