Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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