i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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