We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
