Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
