Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
