They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
