How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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