I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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