btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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