i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
