If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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