gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
