i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
