I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
