Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
