So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
