I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
