Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
