Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
