May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
