why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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