grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
