Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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