Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
