The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize