then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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