2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
