Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
