Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
