i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
