he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
