I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
