I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
