If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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