so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
