I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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