so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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