i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
