she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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