Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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