Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
