I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
