Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
