My pussy is not your playground.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
