Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
