Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Pooping to opera.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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