If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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