Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
