i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
